Right now, if you are experiencing betrayal trauma you may feel that you cannot trust anyone, let alone trust yourself. Betrayal Trauma is exceptionally painful and can destroy our inner peace, self-esteem and sense of safety in the world. It can create attachment wounds that run deep and influence every aspect of our lives. It can feel increasingly isolating if you are protecting your partner and holding the secret for you both. This can lead to some intense and difficult to process feelings including shame, sadness, anger, frustration, resentment and more. If that may sound familiar, please know support is possible.
Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you. ― Rumi
What is Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma refers to the emotional and psychological harm that occurs as a result of betrayal by someone in whom an individual has placed trust. This can include betrayal by a partner, friend, family member, or professional. Betrayal trauma can manifest in a variety of ways, including feelings of shock, anger, depression, and anxiety. .
What are the symptoms of Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma can manifest in a variety of physical, emotional, and psychological symptoms, including:
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Depression and feelings of hopelessness
- Difficulty trusting others
- Intrusive thoughts or memories of the betrayal
- Anger and difficulty with forgiveness
- Difficulty with intimacy and vulnerability
- Difficulty with emotional regulation
- Nightmares and insomnia
- Hypervigilance and feelings of being on guard
- Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches
It’s important to note that everyone may experience betrayal trauma differently, and some people may not experience all of these symptoms. Additionally, some people may have symptoms that are not listed here.
What Do I Do Now?
Dealing with betrayal trauma can be a difficult and painful process, and it’s important to take care of yourself both emotionally and physically. Here are a few ways you can begin to take care of yourself after infidelity:
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings: It’s natural to experience a range of emotions after infidelity, including anger, sadness, and betrayal. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and process them in a healthy way.
- Take time for self-care: Engage in activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family. Taking time to care for yourself physically can also help improve your emotional well-being.
- Seek professional help: A therapist or counselor can help you work through the emotions and thoughts you may be experiencing after infidelity. They can also help you develop coping strategies to help you heal.
- Communicate with your partner: If you choose to stay in the relationship, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and the steps you both need to take to heal.
- Be patient with yourself: Healing from infidelity takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and space you need to heal.
- Set boundaries for yourself and your partner: After infidelity, it’s important to set boundaries with your partner to protect yourself and your emotional well-being. This can include limiting contact with the person who betrayed you or setting ground rules for your relationship moving forward.
It’s also important to remember that infidelity can be a traumatic event. It’s also important to note that not all relationships can be saved after infidelity, if you find it hard to overcome or trust the other person again it’s important to consider ending the relationship.
If you need a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your feelings around betrayal please feel free to reach out to me at [email protected]